Jane "Goldie" Winn

Author, Speaker, and Life Coach

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13 NASB) 

"You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result--the survival of many people." (Genesis 50:20 CSB)  

These are the questions that I asked Goldie during her interview on the VictoryEmbraced: Truth, Talk & Testimonies YouTube channel, and what she shared. Please consider, liking, sharing, and subscribing to the channel. Thank you! 

May you share your your testimony? It’s very miraculous. I know it will help many people–It has and will continue to do so because of what God has done in your life. 

Yes, thank you so much. It’s an honor to be here tonight. I never know exactly where to start sharing my story, but I trust the Lord will give me His prompting on where to start. Maybe it’s a good idea to set the scene. I grew up in a Jewish family. Our parents raised us as conservative Jews, and I was born in Massachusetts. We lived in Florida for a little when my father was a doctor. My father was the assistant superintendent of the VA Hospital in St. Petersburg, Florida. In 1958, he received an offer to go to Independence, Iowa, a tiny town of 5,000, where he became the superintendent of a huge state mental hospital. I remember pulling up to the hospital grounds and seeing all these bars on the window–I was young, maybe in second or third grade. When we parked, my father got out of the car and said, “What have I done? All these bars are on the windows. My first decision is that I’m going to remove all those bars from the windows and make them humane for these patients.” My father was an amazing visionary, and he believed in treating the mentally ill with dignity, as he used to say, but for the grace of God, there go I. 

My dad taught us from a young age to respect the mentally ill. There were 1,100 patients in the hospital and 500 employees. Growing up, our living quarters were sandwiched between patient wards in the main administration building of the hospital. The place I grew up in was intriguing, with a long winding staircase that linked the superintendent’s apartment to the main administration area. Every time my family went down that staircase, the staff would stand up to show their support and respect. The patients and staff held him in high regard as a patriarchal superintendent. It was interesting because he was very different behind closed doors. Behind closed doors, my father was emotionally and physically abusive, mostly to my older sister than me. My sister Esther is six years older than me, and Kathy, my younger sister, is five years younger. Despite this, it was mainly Esther who experienced the bulk of his anger, and we still don’t completely understand why. One of the theories is that in the Jewish religion, it’s always wonderful to have a son—Esther was the firstborn and wasn’t a son, but was a fighter, so when my father would approach her to beat her, she would fight back. However, I was the one who held the pain in the family and would become very depressed. I would keep the pain inside, and escape into the bathroom to take bubble baths for hours and read books like Nancy Drew and Bobbsey Twins because I didn’t know how to deal with the pain. It was also confusing to me that the world saw my father so differently than he was behind closed doors—It was hard to bridge those two worlds together. Also, we were one of the only Jewish families in the small town that we lived in. It was important to my parents to keep up our Jewish traditions, such as having Shabbat dinner and celebrating all the Jewish holidays, so we would drive 45 minutes every Friday night for Shabbat to Waterloo, Iowa, where there was a conservative synagogue, which is the middle road—it’s not strict Orthodox and it’s not reform—so there was Hebrew spoken in the services and English as well. I remember not feeling happy in my childhood. I didn’t want to feel so different, and kids would make fun of me because I was Jewish and everyone in the town was Christian, and they had Christmas trees and Santa Claus, and I used to wonder why Jews didn’t believe in Jesus. 

Eventually, I graduated from high school and majored in music at Drake University in Des Moines, Iowa. I graduated from high school during the hippie movement and when I went to college, I was drawn to them because I felt like they accepted me. To them, it didn’t matter that I was Jewish or that I grew up living at a state hospital—what people used to call the “funny farm.” I didn’t want to be different anymore, and the hippies accepted me just as I was, so I got very involved in the whole culture. The thing that I guess I loved was that you can be a free spirit and anything goes, and the next thing you know, it’s sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I embraced the lifestyle and ended up getting involved in a lot of crazy things. 

I was getting more depressed and I didn't know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, so I made the decision to move to a different school in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I changed my major from music education to music therapy and was still very immersed in the hippie culture. My parents paid for me to live in the dorm, but I also lived in a hippie commune. Living a double life was tricky because whenever I went home to visit my parents, I'd have to pretend that I was nice little Janie and everything was fine and put my regular clothes on, but as soon as I went back to school, I put on my bell-bottoms and tie-dye shirts and back in the commune. I managed to live that double life for a while, but then things caught up with me and unfortunately, I found myself pregnant.

When I got pregnant, it was before Roe versus Wade and I didn't know what to do. I waited a long time before I even got the pregnancy test, so when I found out that I was pregnant, I was shocked and remember yelling at the nurse and calling her every name in the book because I didn't want to believe it. My friends knew that I couldn't have the baby because my parents would freak out. After all, it was all about looking good and there's no way their daughter could be pregnant and not be married. So I was encouraged to have an abortion because they thought I would be better off. In those days, like it is right now, the states would decide whether or not abortion was legal or not and California was one of the states where abortion was legal, so my friends decided they would raise some money to help send me to California to get the abortion. When I went out there, it was very different because back then, abortion was looked upon shamefully. They had a hotel set up where the girls came to stay who were having abortions, but I remember to this day, the hotel proprietor saying, “We’re going to help you now, but don't ever let this happen again!” I stayed in the hotel and roomed with another girl who was going to have an abortion. It turned out we were in San Jose, California and we had to drive to San Francisco to a hospital because unfortunately because I waited too long before I took the pregnancy test I was well into my second-trimester. Without ultrasounds at the pregnancy center like today, I felt lost and had no other option.

When we got to the hospital in San Francisco the doctor explained what they were going to do. I had a saline abortion which sadly is where they burn the fetus within you and you deliver a dead baby. I remember being in a state of numbness and didn't want to believe even at that moment that I was pregnant. I went into the hospital room and I remember the nurse said to me, “When the baby stops kicking, click this button and I'll come into the room.” Years later, I found it interesting that the nurse used the term "baby". When the kicking stopped, I clicked the button and the nurse came in and told me that I would’ve had a perfect baby boy.  

After the abortion, I went into what you call denial, which is one of the most basic defenses and there's a little joke that denial is not just a river in Egypt. Denial protects us from facing trauma until we're ready to do so. I not only was in denial, but I became more numb started using more drugs, and became even more sexually promiscuous.

When I went back to my college, I needed to perform a music piece as part of my music education. It was a 12-page sonata. The saxophone was my major instrument, and I had to memorize the piece to pass. Well, because I was doing so many drugs and was so depressed, I lost my place and completely forgot where I was, so they ended up flunking me for the entire year. 

I then realized how depressed I was and also that I was feeling a lot of physical pain in my body that I thought may have to do with the abortion, but when I went to the nurse on campus, she told me they couldn’t examine me without my parents signing a release to permit them because I was under 21.

I wasn’t ready to tell my parents because a few years earlier, my sister married a Catholic and in those days, Jews and Gentiles didn't mix, and my parents disowned her and said the prayer of the dead over her. Thankfully, two and a half years later they accepted her back into the family, which was a wonderful reconciliation, but in my mind, I thought if my parents found out about me having sex, getting pregnant, having an abortion, and being a hippie–they would certainly disown me. I thought there was no way I could tell my parents, but this pain in my body was getting worse and I didn't know what to do. My older sister Esther, who lived in Connecticut encouraged me to fly there and she made sure that her husband who was a social worker called the hospital to get me admitted, but the hospital said they couldn’t without my parents' permission. My sister told me that I was going to have to call Mom and Dad and tell them the truth. I was scared, but at the same time, I was prepared for their rejection. I picked up the phone and called my parents and proceeded to tell them that I was a hippie, I got pregnant and then had an abortion. My father's first response (remember he was a psychiatrist), but his first response was that I might as well kill myself, that I was no good to the family anymore, and how could I ever do this to them. He then slammed the phone down and I was like okay he's rejecting me–that's it, he's rejecting me, but then about 5 minutes later the phone rang again and it was my father. He called back and said, “No, Janie–I love you. You’re my daughter, and we’re going to take care of you–we'll get you the help you need. I will call the hospital and grant permission for them to examine you." As soon as my father said those words, I love you–all that pain that I've been holding in my body all those months after the abortion left. It was all in my mind because I was afraid of my father's rejection and so I was carrying all that pain inside. 

My father called the hospital, and they checked me out and said everything was fine, but he was still concerned about me and thought I needed a lot of help, so he sent my Mom out to the East Coast to get set up with the top physiatrist. In his mind, he didn’t think there was any hope for me and that I would ever get better. After all, how can I do these terrible things and bring so much shame to the family? I remember being ushered into this beautiful office, the psychiatrist’s office, and my mother started telling the psychiatrist all the terrible things that I did. I felt like I just wanted to crawl under the desk. I was so full of shame and guilt, and then at some point, the psychiatrist said to my mother, “Would you mind leaving the room? I want to talk to your daughter alone.” And she said, "Okay." I’ll never forget this as long as I live, because I didn’t expect it. He looked at me and said, “I just want to talk to you. How are you feeling?" His caring shocked me because I was just shamed and beaten up emotionally and thought the doctor was going to do the same thing, but he wanted to know how I was feeling. I told him that I was confused, scared, and overwhelmed and his response was, "Well, your father’s not going to like this, but from one psychiatrist to another, I’m going to recommend that you live as far away as possible from them and that you work with a psychiatrist to get help. I have a good psychiatrist that I can refer you to, so if there’s any family you can live with in Connecticut, do that, but don’t say a word to your mother until I’ve had a chance to talk to your father.” At that moment, I remember feeling relief wash over me, like wow, there’s hope. I was still very depressed, but at least I felt hope. My father sent my Mom out to set me up with the psychiatrist, and I went to intensive therapy three times a week and could live with my favorite aunt and uncle for 2 and 1/2 years. It was a wonderful time because I loved them and their children so much. We were very close and would often take family vacations together. In many ways, I felt closer to this family than my own–it was a safe place. After 2 and ½ years of therapy, I knew I was ready to begin to stop, and my therapist recommended that I start working in a place that wasn’t too stressful. So, I found a job at a factory where they made Corelle Ware and worked as a glorified receptionist. One day, while sitting in the building, a guy walked in, and I thought he was cute. I learned his name was Dave, and he was from the Hartford, Connecticut, area. I remember saying to him, “You know, why don’t you come up and see me sometime?” Dave came over to see me that night and have been together ever since. 

When I graduated I wanted to work somewhere but wasn’t sure where. Then, someone offered us the opportunity to go on the road as professional musicians. Dave didn’t get many jobs because of his long hair–in those days, they didn’t like hippies. Dave managed to find work in pizza parlors, where he could stay out of sight of customers. However, a Honky Tonk piano player befriended him and taught him how to play the big upright bass. I became a singer, and we went on the road for a while, playing at different clubs. 

I began to feel depressed and questioned if I wanted to spend my life singing for intoxicated individuals despite finally earning my degree. I recall a day at a club where we were staying in a camper out in the country. I ran outside, fell face down on the ground, and spoke to God for the first time. Before that moment, I had never talked to God because, in the Jewish religion, He is seen as distant and abstract. I cried to God, saying, “If you’re truly there, make yourself known to me!” Reflecting on it brings up emotions, and I remember Jeremiah 29:13. “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” When I cried out to God, it wasn’t that I saw lightning or heard thunder, but I couldn’t move for the longest time, and I felt a deep peace come over me and His presence. When I got up, I knew I had to quit the band and tell Dave. 

Dave stayed with the band for a little while longer and I found a place I could help kids who were trying to get off drugs. I volunteered there to help them not go down the same road I did. While there, a woman caught my attention with her infectious joy, and I felt the need to meet her, so I acquired her number to contact her. When I called her; her roommate answered, and told me, “She’s not home, but she is currently at a Catholic church in downtown Mankato. If you wish to see her, maybe you could go there.” I asked Dave even though I thought he would probably think I was crazy, but shockingly, he said yes. 

When we arrived at the Catholic church, I was fascinated by the illuminated Greyhound bus parked in front that displayed "Heaven" as the destination. We walked into the church, and it turned out to be a Catholic charismatic prayer meeting with people from all different denominations praising the Lord and hands lifted high. We used to sing to drunks, and for us to see this group with their hands raised singing songs to Jesus was amazing, we both realized that maybe it was Jesus that we were missing in our lives. 

Everybody accepted us even though we had our bell-bottoms on and looked scraggly, and Dave had long puffy hair then, but they accepted us, loved us, and kept inviting us. One day, there was a second or third meeting, and this priest asked us if he could pray for us to receive Jesus into our lives as our own personal Lord and Savior. My response was, but I'm Jewish. I can't do that. I really can't do that. Well, it turns out that the person I went to the church to meet is a hairdresser, so I asked if I could meet with her for a haircut, and she shared her testimony of being brought up Catholic and experiencing severe depression. She invited Jesus into her life to be her own personal Lord and Savior, and all her depression left. I shared with her that I was Jewish, but she still prayed for me. Interestingly, the Lord directed her to a scripture, which was Isaiah 53. This scripture emphasizes Jesus as the suffering Messiah, who suffered and was wounded for our transgressions. I remember saying, "Oh, but that's the New Testament, and she said no; no, that's the Old Testament." I remember growing up in the synagogue, they would always skip that reading; they would read Isaiah 52 and then go to Isaiah 54. So one day, I asked the rabbi why he always skipped over that reading, and he replied, "Oh, it's just because I'm tired of telling people it's not Jesus." 

On August 4th, 1974, Dave and I got on our knees and received Jesus Yeshua into our lives. Yeshua is the Hebrew word for Jesus, which also means salvation. Suddenly, after the prayer, this overwhelming joy filled me. I became a new creation--2 Corinthians 5:17. So at that moment, joy filled me. I couldn't stop weeping tears of joy, and I knew that this Jesus I'd been told not to believe all my life was real! I was blind and now I could see! After giving my life to Jesus, somebody from the church approached me and shared a special word the Lord put on their heart, "You know Goldie, I feel that your gift is the gift of joy".  From that moment, the gift of joy entered my life. Throughout my life, I experienced constant depression to the extent that my mother used to say, "She's going to carry around a pocket full of tears wherever she goes." So the fact that I felt amazing joy was incredible. After this, Dave and I stopped living together and we got married on November 23rd, 1974. If you saw the movie Jesus Revolution, it's like Dave and I's story. 

Golie, could you share what the Lord is doing in your life now? You have a counseling and life coach background and you're an author and a movie called Rainbow In The Night. 

In 1993, I returned to school and obtained my master’s degree in social work. Our relocation to Pennsylvania led us to a remarkable Messianic Jewish congregation in Philadelphia, as directed by the Lord. After working in the field for a while, a young lady came to me as a client. She was a Christian, and she came to me because she was thinking about having an abortion at one time--she shared with me that she was brought up in a Christian home and was the trophy Christian daughter. When she went away to college, she was tired of being put up on a pedestal, so she ended up backsliding, having sex, and getting pregnant. She knew she couldn’t share this with her Christian parents or her church, so she had an abortion. 

While at the abortion clinic, she experienced a miscarriage, but internally, she believed she had terminated the pregnancy. Seeking biblical guidance, she turned to me for counsel. I successfully arranged a meeting with the whole family, creating an opening for sincere repentance, and her parents humbly sought her forgiveness. I brought her to a pregnancy center so she could receive the necessary healing, as she had intended to have an abortion. During my time there, the executive director mentioned that I had been recommended to her for the position of Client Services Director. Despite being quiet, my husband strongly believed that not accepting the position would lead to a lifetime of regret. 

I met with the board of directors for an interview and the president of the board asked me why I wanted to work at the pregnancy center. Well, an emotional flood of memories from my abortion surfaced, as I had been in deep denial for 27 years. I told them that 27 years ago I had an abortion, and if I could prevent just one abortion, I would love the opportunity to do that. After the interview, I thought they would never want me to work for them because I couldn’t stop sobbing. However, at 10:30 pm, the executive director called and said they all talked about it and decided they wanted to offer me the position and that I would be perfect for the job but before I could start working, I had to go through the post-abortion Bible study to make sure that there wasn’t anything I still needed healing from. I needed to be completely healed from my decision and trauma, so I could come alongside those who are abortion-minded and hurting. 

Soon after beginning the Bible study, I got in touch with what happened, and I had to acknowledge that I had ended the life of my baby. I fell to the ground, and I couldn’t stop crying for over an hour about what I had done. At the end of the Bible study, they had us have a memorial service where you could make peace and name your baby so you could say goodbye and have closure. 

I knew that my baby was a boy, and in the Jewish religion, if you have a son, you name the baby boy after the first letter of your father’s name, so I named him Samuel, which means God sees him. I went home that evening with the certificate with Samuel’s name on it, and I showed it to my husband, Dave, and with tears in his eyes said, “I want to adopt your baby in heaven so that one day we will be parents together." We had to make a heartbreaking decision not to have children, which is part of my story in the book and movie so his comment was so touching and amazing. 

Writing my book Rainbow In The Night took 20 years to complete because I had so much pain in my life that I needed to work through--there were still parts of my past that I was holding onto. I realized that I could only finish writing the book once I was willing to completely surrender my painful past to the Lord. The book was published in December 2019. If the Lord can do all this for me, He is surely capable of healing you as well! 

The person who edited my book is a dear friend of mine, and she and her husband felt it should be made into a movie, so they introduced me to producers who produce faith-based films. I shared the story with them, and they said yes. The Rainbow In The Night movie is an hour and 17 minutes, and it’s me telling my life story without a script. The director encouraged me to tell my story rawly. As I shared my story, they filled it in with amazing backdrops and music and put everything into it to make my story, and it’s been nominated for some film festivals. It’s a great blessing and joy to be taking the movie on the road, and with special movie screenings wherever the Lord opens the doors, I will go because I feel that He wants this movie to be out there to bring hope to so many people and women out there who are hurting from abortions. 

Whenever I do a movie screening, I make sure that there’s somebody there from a pregnancy center because every time, there’s a woman who comes forward who maybe never shared their abortion with another person and feels so much shame and guilt about it because it’s a very dark issue, even though part of the country sadly embraces abortion like it’s no big thing; it’s not that quick, easy fix. Within us, that goes against the grain of who God created us to be, so there’s nothing natural about that, so women go underground, and there are so many women sitting in churches shrouded in guilt and shame. This is one of the main reasons I wanted to share my traumatic second-trimester abortion story--to open hearts and unlock the hurt inside so many women. I also share my salvation and want Jewish people to know that Jesus Yeshua is the Jewish Messiah. Many situations in the movie relate to people going through difficult challenges in life. Dave and I had to work through a lot in our marriage and we want to be honest about it because we feel that if we can overcome these things and celebrate our 50th anniversary, others can do the same. So the movie is about hope, encouragement, redemption, and forgiveness, and the main theme is surrender--Whoever the Son sets free is free indeed, John 8:36. The devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus can, so we will have life and have it to the full (John 10:10). 

The Lord called Jane “Goldie” Winn out of darkness and futility, bringing her into overflowing joy and deep purpose. Goldie’s RAINBOW IN THE NIGHT movie and book depict her journey of healing and how the Lord used every tear for His Kingdom plans. Rainbow in the Night is bringing hope to many and giving people courage to continue their own journeys. RENT THE MOVIE AND BUY THE BOOK!

Watch the MOVIE TRAILER 

for RAINBOW IN THE NIGHT

BOOK A MOVIE SCREENING  for 

RAINBOW IN THE NIGHT 

for Your Church or Special Event!

Watch the video review of Pastor Todd Joyner of Church in the Gardens in Palm Beach Gardens, FL, from the movie screening of Rainbow in the Night at his church.

Purchase Goldie's Book on Amazon

Goldie's Ministry Site

Lisa Buldo

Mentoring, Coaching, Consulting, Author, and Host of The Victorious Life Broadcast

"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." (1 Corinthians 15:57) 

I was a very sickly child with asthma and allergies, which I developed at the age of 4. I struggled with asthma and allergies throughout my teen years as well. Then, at the age of 19, I developed acne, which I had for 15 years, and then in my early 30s, I struggled with digestive problems. The Lord burned a passion in me for nutrition, health, and wellness. Through all of this, I have learned how to get healthy and overcome my health challenges. Later on, I went on to become a Certified Health Coach. I have been working with clients and speaking all over the nation for 17 years, and I have been a researcher of health and nutrition for 23 years. 

Additionally, I went through a traumatic divorce in 1999, and it humbled me to the point of death. The reason for the divorce was due, in part, to my beginning. I grew up without a father, and I had abandonment issues along with fear, anger, and depression. It carried right into adulthood. I did not know how to have a proper relationship. I was very needy, controlling, and angry, and it ruined my marriage. After the divorce, I was so angry and depressed that I couldn’t eat, sleep, or think straight. I just existed. I sought out astrologers and psychics for help, and it made my situation worse. I had panic attacks and constant anxiety. 

One day, while I was at work, I had such a bad anxiety attack that I thought my heart would jump out of my chest. I went into the bathroom and locked the door, got on my knees, leaned over the toilet seat, and said, "God, I surrender. Please, if you help me, I’ll do anything. I don’t want to die!” A couple of minutes later, I composed myself and went back to my desk. As I wiped the tears from my eyes, a co-worker said to me, “Why don’t you just call your church and see if they can help you?” Embarrassed as I was, I did call my church to ask for help. They put me in touch with a woman who would forever change my life. Her name is Florence. I counseled with Florence once a week for 6 months, and I grew strong in the Lord. I read about 25 books during that time by Kenneth E. Hagin, and that began my “faith walk.” I’ve never looked back. I’ve been walking and growing in the Lord ever since, and I have overcome my struggle with fear, anger, and depression. I now coach clients all over the world and travel, speaking on the subject of healthy and victorious living. I specialize in healthy weight loss, type 2 diabetes, acne, and digestive issues, as well as the emotional issues of fear, anger, and depression, through the Biblical principles in God's Word. The scripture verse that helped me the most during the worst of my struggles is: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) I am called to spread the Good News, be a light in a dark place, and help the multitudes live in victory! 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) 

Lisa shared her testimony on a VictoryEmbraced: Truth, Talk & Testimonies broadcast. Please consider liking, sharing, and subscribing. Thank you! 

         Mentoring/Coaching/Consulting in Faith, Healing, and Kingdom Authority

The Victorious Life (Streaming Live Every Thursday at 8pm EST

IT CAN BE DONE! You Can Live In Victory 24/7

Darlene Van Dyke

Christian Music Recording Artist and Founder of Redemption Cove

Darlene's testimony was shared on the VictoryEmbraced: Truth, Talk & Testimonies YouTube channel. Please consider liking, sharing, and subscribing. Thank you!  

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)

The Lord is your protector; The Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun will not beat down on you by day, Nor the moon by night. The Lord will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul. The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in From this time and forever. (Psalm 121:5-8 NASB)     

“we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing;  persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. (2 Corinthians 4:8-10 NASB)

These are the questions that I asked Darlene during her interview on the VictoryEmbraced: Truth, Talk & Testimonies YouTube channel, and what she shared.  

Darlene, can you explain how you use your property in Southampton, Pennsylvania, for a ministry called Redemption Cove? 

Well, we have always dedicated the property of Cherry Lane to the Lord. I had the privilege of stewarding this place for about 28 years, and the initial ministry that started there was an annual caroling party—we would go into the streets at Christmas time and sing about the birth of Christ. I had done that as a small child with my parents in a small town in Ohio called Steubenville, and it just rested in my heart all of my childhood and into my adult life, and then when I had my first child, I wanted her to have those memories, but we live in Pennsylvania in a suburb of Philadelphia. I didn’t know of anybody who was going caroling, so we thought we would just go ourselves, and that small little desire in my heart grew into 25 years of an annual caroling event there at the property and the streets, and we shared about the birth of Christ. It’s interesting because of the neighbors’ reactions—we received wonderful reactions and some not-so-good or sad reactions...or unfortunate reactions. I say unfortunate or sad because I believe people who don’t know Jesus are missing out on a lot. So, we began using the property at Cherry Lane in Southampton, Pennsylvania, and then all kinds of ministries emerged from that place because we have always dedicated it to the Lord. There was a time when my stepson, whom I consider my son, and I had this vision of taking this little plot of land and turning it into an outdoor worship venue, so in three days, the Lord facilitated all the resources. Ryan and I built that space using mostly discarded items, and I prayed and said, Lord, what do you want to call this place? The name Redemption Cove came to mind because we have experienced redemption, being discarded, hurt, and being abused many times. The Lord is a Savior—He saves us. So many things in Redemption Cove were “trash finds,” if you will, and they all had a significant spiritual attachment, like when Ryan and I were building the wall out of old barn wood pieces from a friend’s historic farmhouse that her husband was discarding—I said, oh, I think I can use those.” Ryan was building the walls, and we came to a spot where I said to him that it would be so cool to have a door right here, and he agreed. I went to pick my daughter up from school that day, and wouldn’t you know, there was something in the trash. It’s just interesting because everything that happened was in the Lord’s timing. There’s granite flooring there that was donated, and there’s an old metal globe from the ‘70s that was placed in there, as you know, for God so loved the world—there’s a clock hanging, and everything there was significantly placed. As you know, time is short—Jesus is coming—we need to be redeemed, so this was the thought behind Redemption Cove. 

Can you share what happened in May 2023 on the Pennsylvania Turnpike I-95?

I moved to Pennsylvania when I was 20 years old, and for about 40 years I have driven back and forth from Ohio, where my parents live, to Philadelphia and never had an issue, even in all kinds of weather—rain, sleet, snowstorms. Last May, around 11 a.m., it was a beautiful sunny morning. I set my cruise control at 65; the speed limit was 70. I just wanted to enjoy my trip and listen to music, and suddenly, I heard a loud explosion sound in the rear of the SUV. I thought that maybe a tire blew out, and then instantly, I couldn’t see anything in my rearview mirror. I didn’t know what happened or why my vehicle was being catapulted–It felt like a huge hand was pushing me violently with great strength to the cement median. Then, I remember feeling my vehicle begin to lift and begin turning over, and as I saw the median, I said to Jesus, I wonder if I’m going to die. And immediately after I said that everything went blank. I don’t remember the impact—I don’t remember anything. The next event that I have in my memory is that I heard voices murmuring, and I heard things before I could see them because I was coming out of an unconscious state. I then opened my eyes, and I couldn’t quite figure out where I was. I kept looking and looking, and I saw glass and things that looked familiar, but yet they didn’t, and I came to realize I was hanging upside down from my seat belt. I didn’t recognize things because they were upside down. I then thought–Wow, the seatbelt is holding me, and then I prayed and said, Lord, please let the seatbelt unclick. I think I need to get out of here. Please don’t let me be stuck in here. I checked my arms to see if they were okay because I thought I could crawl out. I opened my eyes and saw that the window on the driver’s side was shattered, but all the metal was bent down and smashed, so I realized there was no way I could get out that way. But the passenger’s side was completely missing, and there was a big opening. I thought I could climb over there, so I didn’t know what had happened. I didn’t realize that a vehicle had struck me. I wondered if the car was on fire or if it was going to explode. My first feeling was that I needed to get out of here. Then I looked around, and I thought, well, I’m just going to crawl out, and I heard a voice say, Are you okay? And this murmuring turned into a man’s voice, and I saw him tuck his head down and look into the vehicle, and I said, well, I’m conscience, and I unclicked the seat belt, and I just crawled onto the glass and the debris, and I began to army crawl, and then I realized I had no strength in my body, and I and I couldn’t crawl. I was just weak and limp, and he said, Can I help you? And I stretched my hand as far as I could to the window, and I said, Would you please pull me out? He took his hand, and he did one jerk and got me at least out of the vehicle. I rolled over on my back on the turnpike, and I could see now that the vehicle was upside down and totaled, and a woman appeared next to him—again, I’m still not sure what happened—and she asked, Can I help you? I’m a nurse, and I said to her, Would you find my cell phone, please? and she found my phone underneath the tire of another vehicle that was behind my vehicle, and I was thinking, maybe he stopped to help me, and here it was the gentleman who had hit me. The lady found my cell phone under the tire of his car. The ambulance came, the policeman, and all details of just normal rescue behavior. Interestingly enough, the EMT assistant was female, and she said, Honey, I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to cut off your clothes. I think she said that because I was wearing my favorite comfy outfit. She put the neck brace on me, and she cut off my clothes, apologizing, and then in the ambulance, I said, look, I need to make a couple of phone calls. I was headed to an appointment for two different meetings, and she said, Well, I think your ankle is broken. She said I can give you something for that, and I said, if you give me something, I won’t be able to talk to you, and she said, So, she said, I think you probably are going to need something, especially when you get to the trauma unit, so she gave me something for pain, and I’m so grateful that she did because once I reached the trauma unit, they did all kinds of testing. 

You know, I don’t know how many doctors came and pressed on my body in certain places, and I couldn’t open my eyes. I don’t know why that was. I just had no strength, I had no energy, and it was almost as if I wasn’t even in my body I couldn’t move, but I could hear and they would tell me what they were going to do to me to check me and I a woman’s voice to my left but she was different she was not talking like a doctor and I forced my eyes to peep open a little bit and it was an African-American woman and she had a blue uniform on and I thought she was a nurse and so I said to her where am I? And she said, Holy Spirit Hospital and I said, oh well that’s a good place to be because He’s here and she replied–YES, HE IS and immediately I got a good response now in the world normally when I talk to people or strangers sometimes our conversation will I’ll say something about the Lord or God or I’ll make a comment as if everybody knows him and those who are usually pick up on that and we have a great conversation so when I said He is here and she said, YES, HE IS–and immediately in my spirit there was a quickening and an aliveness came inside like I was jumping inside but my body couldn’t move and she started to pray and quote scripture–all things work together for good to those who love God and I started quoting scripture and she started saying it with me and she and I together were quoting the scriptures that I would start and then she would continue with it with me and then I’m telling you there was such power in that and we were in the presence of Jesus because He is the Word and if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven–that’s His promise so they took me to do a CT scan they brought me back there was all kinds of scurrying activity and somehow I remember that this woman and I were alone again and she was on my right side now and she said, I’m going to tell you something she said, God’s not done with you yet now she has no idea who I am at least I don’t think she does if you would feel human you know an angel I don’t know he said I’m going to tell you something she said, God is not done with you yet she said you are going to make it out of here she says many people don’t make it out of this unit but you’re going to make it out and started quoting Jeremiah 29:11, and I begin to say it with her, and she just spoke the Word over me, and she prayed over me again, and then I don’t really remember too much of what happened after that, and then I was in a recovered room later with a splint on my leg from my toe up to my knee because I had a mangled ankle. I was banged up from head to toe, I had to bump on my head, a torn retina, surgery on my eye, three broken bones and a torn muscle, and of course, ligaments that were sprained, cuts, and there were a lot of blood loss, I was tired and weak and woke up in recovery with a cast on my leg and people coming in to check on me and I never saw that nurse in that room again I never saw her from that last time that she prayed over me she’s not there the rest of the time. I think it’s so awesome how the Lord at that moment sent somebody to me and prayed over me in a trauma unit in a hospital way out in Camp Hill, Pennsylvania–in a place that I never imagined I would ever be, but the Lord was with me through all of that and then there are more stories beyond that once I left the hospital that is quite interesting.

May you share some of the stories you shared with me after you left the hospital?

The hospital surprised me by discharging me after I had a horrible accident, despite being nowhere near my home and my vehicle being totaled. Maybe they didn’t have room, but they arranged for me to stay at the hotel near the hospital and sent an Uber driver to bring me.

I waited in the hospital lobby in a wheelchair with a wonderful assistant. He was a former military personnel, and we talked about my son-in-law, Jared, who’s a master sergeant in the Marine Corps. We talked about the military until the Uber driver arrived since my daughter, Rikki Lyn, and her husband, Jared, were stationed in Okinawa, Japan.

When the Uber driver pulled up, you could hear him screaming and yelling in his vehicle. I’ve used Uber before and usually, they’re calm and I thought to myself–what’s up with this guy? The hospital assistant that was helping me was wondering the same thing. When he wheeled me to the car, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the license plate with a couple of letters and the numbers six, six, six–It was so funny! The hospital assistant looked inside the car as the driver continued to yell and complain to someone on the phone then, out of concern he asked… “Are you able to take her and then are you able to help her because she can’t walk?” “You’re going to have to carry her bags into the hotel and go over and above what an Uber driver would normally do.” The Uber driver looked back at me and said he would do it. I could tell that the gentleman from the hospital was very leery of putting me in the vehicle.

I got into the Uber, still looking like a mess with a pair of crutches, blood on my face, and glass in my hair. Thank goodness, I had a pair of work clothes in a bag in my SUV I could wear because, at the accident scene, my original outfit had to be cut. As I sat in the backseat with my crutches across my lap in the condition that I was in, I thought… “This guy was clearly frustrated about something and I wanted to calm him down a little because he’s driving me and I was just in a horrific accident, so I said to him… “I understand I’m not your normal Uber passenger. I was in a terrible accident today and I need to get to the hotel so I could rest. I appreciate that you’re taking me and helping me–I almost could have died today, and he responded… “I wish I could die today”. And right then and there, I thought this could not be by chance–This was a divine appointment, so I continued to say to him… “I’m sorry that you’re having a bad day, but I know someone who has a purpose and a plan for your life and He loves you”. He looked in his rearview mirror to look at me and I said… “His name is Jesus.” And he responded… “Don’t give me that religious stuff. I’ve already been through that whole thing.” And I said… “Well, that’s probably the problem. If you’ve been through “religious stuff” then you don’t know Jesus. Jesus loves you and He wants your life to be abundant and fulfilling–He loves us in whatever state we are in and he calmed down and listened to what I was sharing and here I am with glass in my hair, blood on my face, clothes that were ripped up, and crutches and telling him Jesus loves him. 

When we got to the hotel, his entire attitude had changed. He pulled up to the front, got out of his vehicle, and carried my bags in for me as I moved inch by inch like a snail toward the hotel lobby because I couldn’t walk well, I was hungry, lost blood, and should have remained in the hospital–I still don’t understand why they released me, but maybe he was the reason. I desperately needed to get to this hotel so I could rest. 

As I was in the lobby, he stood beside me, almost like a soldier or guard. He stayed with me and asked them if they could take care of me from here on out and the hotel staff promised they would. I said… “You know what, I’m going to be praying for you. I appreciate what you’ve done for me today.” As I looked at him, I noticed that even his countenance had changed. I asked what his name was and he said… “My name is Jacob.” I thanked the Lord for sending me Jacob as he walked back to his vehicle, and I can only hope and pray that Jacob knows Jesus today.

After Jacob left, I made my way up to the hotel’s check-in counter, and I told the woman, I’m the patient coming over from the hospital, and I need my room, and she said... “Okay, you’re on the third floor,” I asked her where the elevator was, and she said they didn’t have one. I told her I couldn’t walk, and I was trying to get by on the crutches, and she said… “Oh, my goodness, that’s right, we’re going to have to find a room for you on the first floor.” In the meantime, she got someone to carry my bags. This young man came over, and he was in a hurry. It was a convention weekend at the hotel. He grabbed my bags, asked what room I would be in, and started to take off. I had to tell him I couldn’t follow him at that pace. He said... “That’s all right. I’ll get your stuff in your room.” They found one empty room on the first floor, and he took off, and I started hobbling towards him. Suddenly, I felt like I was going to pass out, so I made my way to the wall in the lobby, and sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall with my crutches across my lap, glass in my hair, blood on my face, and my cut-off pants. I’m leaning against the wall, and I’m weak, tired, and hungry, and I cannot help myself. 

Now, that is an unusual place for Darlene Van Dyke to be because I’ve never been helpless like this before, and here I am in a strange town in the middle of the state. I leaned against the wall, waiting for the Lord’s next move. And I said… “Lord, I can’t do any more than what I’m doing.” Just then, a man wearing a lanyard walked up to me, looked at me for a split second, and asked if I was okay. I told him I wasn’t and was in a car accident. He continued by saying… “Well, I hope you’ll be okay,” and he went into his room and shut the door. Right then and there, the Lord reminded me of the story of the Good Samaritan. How many times do we come across people that need help and we pass them by? Sadly, our world has desensitized care and compassion. Scripture says in the last days that evil will get worse and worse and that men’s hearts will grow cold. I had an up close and personal experience about the coldness of our hearts–a coldness towards those who need care. I believe that all those times we turn away from helping somebody; it’s creating a barrier between us and what God has designed us to do. It’s a daily thing. So many people say that they wish they could have a ministry. We do—all of us are ministers in the Kingdom. It’s the ministry of compassion and care. For anyone that has a need that and we walk away, the Bible says it’s a sin—to know to do good and to do it not to Him is sin. We all have a ministry—a ministry of compassion and care. 

When the man who had my bags returned, he noticed me sitting on the floor, so he went to find a wheelchair. Next, I instructed him how to assist me into the wheelchair, and he then pushed me into my room. He permitted me to keep the wheelchair so that I could move around. Before he left, I told him how much I appreciated his help, and I asked him his name, and he told me it was Isaac. Jacob and Isaac were there, assisting me that day.

Finally, I’m in the room and can breathe a sigh of relief. I rolled to the bed using my wheelchair. Thankfully, my arms weren’t broken. I had cuts on my arms and fingers, but I could get to the side of the bed so I could lie down. I got in an upright position and laid on the mattress, and here the bed was broken—probably the reason it was the only open double-bed room on the first floor. The mattress slid off the base, and I slid down to the middle aisle of the floor between the two beds. I thought it was too funny, and there had to be a hidden camera somewhere. I somehow stopped myself from sliding off the mattress, and I made my way back to the wheelchair, wheeled myself to the other bed, and said... “Lord, let this one be okay.” I laid across it, and it was okay, so I was finally in a position where I could rest. There I was, with the Lord being my keeper.

In the King James version, Psalm 121 says that the Lord is my keeper. I used to be a soccer coach at my home church for a few years, and I'm familiar with the word keeper in an athletic sense. Well, what does a keeper do for a soccer team? He’s the goalie, and the keeper’s job is to stop the opponent from scoring. The Lord is our keeper—He protects us from the enemy, Satan, scoring in our lives and preventing us from getting ahead of where we should be. If we allow Jesus to be our keeper to stop the enemy assaults, attacks, and fiery darts from scoring—He is our keeper, and on this particular day through the horrific events, He was my keeper. He sent me everything I needed when I needed it so perfectly. Now, I’m still injured, in pain, and suffering, but the story’s not over yet because I need to get home. 

I want to touch on something for those who may watch this broadcast and perhaps have not been so fortunate and maybe lost a loved one in an accident or maybe have lost anybody for any reason and are still suffering or you’re still in pain. What do we do with that? Where is this keeper? For example, Pastor Rick Warren had a son commit suicide; Steven Curtis Chapman’s older son ran over their little daughter in the driveway, and she did not survive; a very dear pastor friend of mine, Evangelist Ricky Riggs, was a guest evangelist at a church and backed out of a parking lot in the same way; and Toby Mac lost his eldest son to addiction. 

There are many tragedies, and unfortunately, those who don’t have a full understanding of how much God loves us—the puzzle doesn’t fit—the pieces don’t fit. How can God be a keeper and yet we suffer? Scripture says the earth is a cursed place from the fall of man in the garden, and we’re living in that—it’s not heaven, and we’re only passing through. It will not be perfect all of the time. There’s going to be pain and suffering. Jesus even had pain and suffering. God promises we will never be alone—we will never have to go through things alone. We’re not abandoned by our Creator, who loves us, and despite the enemies’ assaults, the Lord still initiates the plan that He has for our lives if we align our will with His so it can happen. 

A personal example is my mother, who was a Christian since she was a teenager. She loved Jesus. When she was in her seventies, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I happened to be with her the day that the diagnosis was given, which again was a miracle because I lived 360 miles away from her, and I happened to be visiting on the day she had a doctor appointment for a follow-up to a mammogram. I was able to be there for her, hug her, and tell her it was going to be okay. The Lord always works out what we need at the very moment we need it—you can’t plan this stuff, but God does. The Lord sees the end from the beginning and knows the complete picture. Jesus knows where we are and what we need. 

Where are you in your healing process from the accident? 

The physical healing is still happening for me, and the Lord is also healing other things. Five specialists have worked on me, and I have had therapists. One therapist that was working on my ankle was a Christian. We got to talk about the Lord and shared scriptures while other therapists were around listening. Many people don’t tune into anything Christian until they overhear a conversation about the Lord, and at that point, they can respond towards the Lord or continue to stay how they are, but He’s always faithful.

He sets at liberty them that are bruised from Luke 4:18. We are the walking wounded. He gives us a way to live in freedom, even though we have a wound. We can still walk in our purpose and abundance, knowing that the Lord loves us and He's with us.

Redemption Cove in Southampton, Pennsylvania

Photos of Darlene's Car from the Accident on the  Pennsylvania Turnpike/Interstate 95

    Joel Jakubowski 

Men's Ministry Director at The Potter's House Addiction Recovery & Discipleship Ministry 

"The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever.”  (Isaiah 40:8)

Hello, my name is Joel. I am a sinner saved by grace, God’s grace, that is. I am a man who has experienced deliverance from the grasp of darkness. And today, I walk upright in the light of Christ.

My parents divorced when I was pretty young. My sister and I continued to live with my mother. After my father’s departure, my mother succumbed to mental illness. Unfortunately, this left my sister and me to “raise ourselves.” The torment of loneliness, abandonment, and uncertainty permeated my innocent heart and soul. At the age of eight, I had become disillusioned with this life and the love it was offering. It was only a matter of time before I reached for the hand of Satan in the form of a marijuana cigarette, and this marked the beginning of my near-fatal sin-induced demise. After the succession of poor decisions, misbelief, and compromises, I became a full-time crack addict that lasted twenty-eight years. Eventually, it was painstaking to acknowledge my skeletal reflection in the mirror, a mirror that so bitterly mocked my bondage. And then, finally came God’s miraculous light. My sister had been delivered in Christ for several years, bringing the Teen Challenge program into my seemingly hopeless world of degradation. And just in time, because thoughts of suicide were now becoming the center of my attention.

On June 16, 2003, I entered the Teen Challenge induction center in the heart of Newark, New Jersey’s urban jungle. I did not come to search out Christ’s heart but only to attempt to stay clean for a year. But much to my exceeding joy, I can say now that Jesus was there waiting to search my heart. I did not know it then, but I realize now that God had given me the so precious and necessary gift of brokenness! He had prepared in me a receptive heart to receive this life’s only truth: His Son finally. Little did I know that the hole in my heart was Christ-shaped all along.

I gave my life to the Lord in a public confession only ten days after arriving at the center. I graduated from the induction center and began a more exhaustive pursuit of God’s heart. Here at that training center in Rehrersburg, Pennsylvania, I fell in love with Jesus. I then began to study the scriptures and learn of God’s promises. I found that my faith in His Word and in His love had the power to “repay me for the years the locusts have eaten.” (Joel 2:25) I found that He had a plan for my life, “to give me a hope and a future”. (Jeremiah 29:11) Praise God! He said I was a new creation in Christ! (2 Corinthians 5:17) At last, I had finally found TRUTH!

Then it began--God restored the trust I had betrayed among my loved ones. He restored my wonderful mother’s mind and our once strained relationship. He renewed my heart and transformed my entire perspective of life and my fellow man. He gave me His love, the only love that cannot disappoint or fade away. He gave me a calling and taught me the meaning of life--To love and serve God. As a result of my devotion, He has continued to bless my socks off to this very day!

Again my name is Joel, a sinner turned saint saved by loving grace. May God bless you!

Joel is a Men's Ministry Director at The Potter's House which is a safe place for men & women to recover from addiction, to experience Christ-centered discipleship, and embrace their God-given destiny for their lives. For more information please visit their ministry site at https://thepottershouselancaster.com/

Purchase Joel's book by clicking on the book cover below.

Joel's testimony from the VictoryEmbraced book was featured on CBN's The 700 Club 

Breaking Free From Addiction 

Faith Aponte

Author of Coming Out of Witchcraft

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34

These are the questions that I asked Faith during her interview on VictoryEmbraced: Truth, Talk & Testimonies YouTube channel, and what she shared. Please like, share, and subscribe by clicking on the channel logo. Thank you! :) 

Did you grow up in a Christian home? 

Faith: I grew up in a Christian home. I guess with not understanding information, for me, it was like okay we just have to wake up to go to church early, sing songs, have snacks, and do crafts but I never really understood who Jesus was in my walk.

When & why did you get into practicing witchcraft? 

Faith: I got into witchcraft after my sexual assault as a way to try to control situations to protect myself from more hurt. In the spring of 2016, someone sexually assaulted me, and it left me feeling very broken and lost. I questioned God a lot then, saying to Him, Well, God, I went to church in the morning, and I did all this, and why didn’t you protect me?” I was scrolling on social media one day and saw that you can open up your “third-eye” chakra and root yourself, and they said, Did you know you’re more powerful and you just need to tap into that? It led me down a rabbit hole of new-age things like reading tarot cards and casting spells to take control of things to protect myself.

What kind of witchcraft were you involved in? What are the dangers of practicing witchcraft? 

Faith: I used to practice as an eclectic witch, which is a witch that practices a variety of different methods. Whatever caught my eye or interest in witchcraft, that’s what I did. Through a witchcraft app, I learned and practiced voodoo, ouija boards, light and dark magic, tarot cards, spirit boxes, horoscopes, and crystals. I thought I was doing the right thing, so hence, I was a “good witch,” as people would say, but witchcraft is witchcraft. Because of my Christian background, I focused more on angels and started worshiping them, and the Bible says we shouldn’t worship or serve anything but the Lord. I was heavily into Roman and Greek mythology because I believed that based on my zodiac sign, that was a god that I served, and it had me go into a whole rabbit hole of a bunch of different things. I was heavy on horoscopes too, and I would not start my day until I read my daily horoscope, and that was my Bible. For instance, if it told me not to get into an agreement or not talk to a certain friend, I would not talk to that friend or get into an agreement, and it had me in bondage and controlled my life instead of being led by the Holy Spirit and doing what the Lord wanted me to do and live. These became idols and opened demonic doors in my life. I was in bondage and walking into darkness, not knowing I was agreeing with Satan’s plan and not God’s plan and purpose for my life. Satan and demons are real, and witchcraft opens demonic doors. I put myself in danger with the spirit realm, and I didn’t put two and two together—I just thought... Oh, this is fun, and it’s very, very dangerous and nothing to play with. 

How did Jesus help you heal from the trauma you have gone through & come out of witchcraft? 

Faith: I don’t want to sugarcoat anything—I’m still healing from the sexual assault. Healing is like layers, one on top of the other. I love how Jesus helps us heal. Daily, I make the choice to give up my past, remain completely surrendered to Him, trust Him, be obedient to what He teaches, expose what happened to me, and be very transparent. I have given the book He had me write to Him. My testimony is in there, and that’s part of my healing. He heals one layer at a time as I continue to lay everything down and give it to Him.   

Things kept on getting worse and worse and I was exhausted from trying to control and protect myself from everything and I realized that I’m not powerful, only God is. I completely surrendered to Him, and that’s how I got out of witchcraft. Once I gave everything to God, He led me to a church in North Carolina, and a guy prophesied over my life and shared with me I used to live in Pottstown, PA, was sexually assaulted, involved with witchcraft, and that I was in a homosexual relationship. I got delivered, woke up the next day and everything was gone—the depression, the anxiety; everything. I repented to God that I was wrong; I completely surrendered to Him and told Him I would trust Him—I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for God. 

Why is it important to know your identity in Christ? 

Faith: It’s very important to come to know our identity in Christ because if you don’t know your identity in Christ, the enemy will give you a false identity. I talk about this in my book Coming Out of Witchcraft because a lot of people are claiming false identities known as zodiac signs. Nobody wants to be friends with a Gemini because they’re too-faced, but you’re coming in agreement with the spirit of confusion, Satan, and multiple personality disorders. If you don’t know your identity in Christ, the enemy is going to give you a false one, and you’re going to be walking in bondage, and you’re not going to be walking God’s truth about what He says about you in His Word.

How can you encourage others never to get involved with anything related to witchcraft?

Faith: I always start with my testimony because I’ve noticed that, especially when God puts somebody in my path, I always tell them my testimony—the testimony that God has given me to share. Sometimes, the only Bible that people are going to read is you, so your testimony is so important, and if somebody doesn’t know, I’m like, Hey, do you know the history of the evil eye? or Hey, do you know what’s wrong with using crystals? I will ask them questions. And they say, Well, it will protect me, and I can share that God can protect you. It opens up the door for prayer and sharing about Jesus, but led by the Holy Spirit because not everyone will receive you—we are hard-headed—and sometimes God will allow us to walk in our consequences for us to learn so we can then help other people. 

Purchase Faith's Book on Amazon or Barnes & Noble

In the book, Faith shares her struggles of going through sexual assault, homosexuality, prostitution, mental health issues, and more. The book also shares how she got involved in new age and occult practices and how Jesus saved her. Coming Out of Witchcraft exposes Satan's kingdom and it includes prayer points, biblical scripture, and steps to take to break free from the kingdom of darkness.

Faith, may you share a little bit about your book? When we talked on the phone, you shared something that I related to because I struggled the same way in school. 

Faith: Yes. I am not an author—I'm just a person who is on fire for Jesus. In first grade, I had a speech impediment and IEP and got held back a year. Writing was not my first strong suit, nor is math really, so I would mess up words—I guess you can say like dyslexia—but I felt God showed me that this is what I was to do, and I was very discouraged at first when writing the book and showing it to people because they would say, “Oh, you got mistakes in there,” and I thought I should pull it back and fix it, but God said no—I chose you and had me read about Moses because he stuttered. God will use you where you don’t think you can be used, and that’s the thing that keeps me humble. I can tell you that Coming Out of Witchcraft is Holy Spirit-led. The Lord would wake me up to write between 5 a.m. and 6 a.m., and I'm not a morning person. I did my best to walk in obedience, and you know, obedience is way better than sacrifice, because that was the thing that I had to lay down. In essence, I needed to lay down my past so I could go into my future. All glory be to God!

Faith shared her testimony on VictoryEmbraced: Truth, Talk & Testimonies YouTube Channel.

Click on the Photo Below for the Broadcast Interview

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Bible scriptures and teaching resources that were used during the broadcast.

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God;” (1 John 4:1  NKJV)

“...Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.”  (2 Corinthians 11:14 BSB)

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness…”  (Ephesians 6:12 NKJV)

“You must not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out, or you will be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God.”  (Leviticus 19:31 NASB)

“But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8 NIV)

The importance of knowing scripture: In Acts 17:11 it teaches us to be a good Berean & to examine the scriptures every day to see if what is said is true.

Teaching Resources from Bible Questions Answered/Got Questions Ministries:  

What Does the Bible Say about Witchcraft? https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-witchcraft.html

***At the root of witchcraft is the desire to control events that are not ours to control–only God’s. The desire has roots in satan’s first temptation to Eve–“You can be like God” in Genesis 3:5*** 

Put on the whole armor–dress for battle–Ephesians 6:10-17  https://www.gotquestions.org/full-armor-of-God.html

Brittany Gilchrist

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.  

1 Peter 5:10

My name is Brittany, and I’m married to my high school sweetheart! We have two daughters, two dogs, three chickens, and a horse, and our lives are complete! Our journey has been one of ups and downs, but drastically changed twelve years ago, on June 22, 2011. Before that, we were finally settled into the life that we had worked so hard for and planned. My husband had a great job that was leading to bigger opportunities; he began working on his novel; we had just purchased our first home; and our second daughter had just been born. Our life was sweet and planned. We were settling into a routine as a little family of four, and we had a pretty good idea of what our life was going to look like.

The 22nd of June started like any other day with a newborn and a toddler—busy and hot! My oldest had been at a summer program at our local church, so the little one and I picked her up and left the church parking lot, and that’s my last memory of that day. Once we pulled onto Highway 41, we traveled a mile or two, and our Nissan Sentra collided head-on with a lifted F250 Super Duty truck that blew a tire and caused the driver to lose control. The truck went across the double yellow lines without being able to steer or brake, into oncoming traffic, and directly into us. The remainder of what was left of our car caught fire, and smoke filled the entire car.

We were trapped. I was unresponsive. My babies were alone, scared, and injured. Throughout this journey, not being able to remember has been excruciating. It’s bittersweet and absolutely surreal. I wish I could have been there to comfort them. I wanted to tell them that everything would be fine, but I couldn’t. Timing is everything. We weren’t alone for very long. With a busy highway and an accident as severe as ours, traffic began to back up as far as the eye could see. Traveling directly behind us were our angels in disguise. These men wasted no time and surrounded our car, deciding how they were going to rescue us. With nothing else to use, they broke our car windows with rocks and their own fists. They freed my babies, at the risk of being overtaken by the hot and pungent smoke. The damage to our car was so severe that it had shifted me from being a driver to nearly a passenger, with my lower half being barely visible. I couldn’t move to be freed. But they didn’t leave me. They didn’t run away or throw up their hands. They stayed, and they tried again—on three they pulled, all grasping a different part of me, and as I was freed, our entire car then went up in flames.

Those angels, our heroes, were all acknowledged, and the one who went over and beyond was awarded the American Red Cross Hero award for his actions, heroism, bravery, and love. There are a few things that I don’t remember from this day, such as my Life Flight helicopter ride, the two times that it was necessary to resuscitate me to save my life, and the next three days, which were a blur.

The few things I do remember when I awoke were that I knew my life would never be the same; when I was told that they rated our accident unsurvivable; and the many times I needed to be reminded that my babies had survived—we were all miracles.

It’s been a very long twelve years, filled with pain, surgeries, and too many appointments to count. In the midst of everything, there are also many amazing stories, situations, people, miracles, and acts of grace. We will never forget what we have been through—our journey hasn’t been easy, and there were times when it seemed overwhelming and too hard to bear.

My girls were both taken by ambulance to the closest children’s hospital, where my oldest spent over a month in recovery. My injuries were extensive. I fractured both femurs, a compound fracture of my right tibia and fibula, the left clavicle, the sternum, and the ribs, just to name a few. I needed to learn how to walk again, but I was very thankful for my legs—I created these attitudes and differing emotions and perspectives that I had to battle and navigate constantly. The reality and pain of what had happened were compared to the thankfulness and gratitude for life and miracles. That was our reality—it’s still our reality.

Today, we are changed. We see life from different perspectives; we see through different lenses. Not only has our perspective changed, but who we are as people has changed. We are definitely products of the things we experience, but we have a choice in how we respond to and react to those experiences. Bad things happen, unfortunately. It’s the sinful and fallen world we live in, but we can rise from the trauma and let it shape us into people of grace who exhibit empathy, love, joy, and hope. Life is short. Time is precious, as are the friends and family who surround you. God has a plan and purpose for each of us. He can make beauty out of ashes, and if we let Him, He will use everything we are and everything we encounter, both painful and joyful, for our good and His glory! We’ve experienced miracle after miracle. Not only were we spared from an unsurvivable car accident, but we were mostly unscathed from a second car accident in 2018. We have been healed miraculously time and time again. We have been provided for physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially. Our every need has been met. Once again, the road hasn’t been easy, to say the least. It’s been full of pain and sadness. It’s been a fight. But we’ve not had to fight alone. We have never been alone. At times, we’ve had to trudge through mud to keep going, while other times we’ve floated on our backs down a clear stream. Either way, God has been our constant and our anchor. We strive each day to trust Him fully and step out, one foot in front of the other. He is in full control. We have been called to tell our story—to tell of the amazing and miracle-performing God whom we serve. He is alive today, friends. He is moving and working on our behalf, for our good and His glory. He is an awesome God, and nothing is impossible with Him. Today, what remains is the hope of eternity. What remains is the excitement of a life led by the Holy Spirit. What remains is the promise that our good Father will never leave us or forsake us. We take one day at a time around our home, thankful for the life that’s been given to us. Our days may be messy at times, and life is raw and real, but our time and our actions are intentional as we walk hand in hand with our Savior. My prayer for each of you would be that you would know your infinite worth and how much you are loved by your Creator. That you would crave more of what God has for you and know that He has a plan and purpose for your life, as you’ve been uniquely created! Finally, my prayer is that you walk this life in fullness and VICTORY! He is with you and for you.

Nissan Sentra June 22, 2011

Brittany's Family

Brittany's testimony that was shared with VictoryEmbraced was featured on CBN's 700 Club. Enjoy and please share this amazing testimony.  

Brittany Gilchrist's Testimony on CBN's 700 Club

Brian and Shawn Chrisagis

Founders of the Chrisagis Brothers Ministries & Productions

“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5

Brian and Shawn Chrisagis were born with life-threatening allergies to the sun, grass, most foods, and clothing. The doctors said they wouldn't live past the age of two, but now—they are walking, talking miracles. The twins needed to be in an incubator for the first two years of their lives. When their parents brought them home from the hospital, the windows of their house were covered with bricks to protect them from the sun. The Chrisagis Brothers' early years were marked by a series of "tests and errors" from doctors in the United States, Italy, France, and Germany. It was discovered that the only foods they could eat were soybeans, milk, sardines, rice cakes, and peanut butter. Their mother (Marguerite Chrisagis) and grandmother (Carmie 'Nana' DeFilippo) made all their clothing out of the few fabrics their skin didn't react to. If they had to go outside, they would have to cover up with hats and blankets–if the sun touched their skin, they could die and have to be rushed to the hospital.

 
When Brian and Shawn were seven years old, their mother, Marguerite, suffered from a severe heart condition and became confined to a wheelchair and needed oxygen. One day, Marguerite went to a healing service at a Full Gospel Businessmen's meeting. After the sermon, she went forward to ask the preacher, Father Michael Scanlan, to pray for her sons' healing, but he insisted on praying for her. Father Scanlan told her that as a parent, she had the authority in her home to stand in the gap and pray for her sons' healing and deliverance. That is when Marguerite learned how to break the bloodline of sickness, death, and disease over her home and loved ones.

After Father Scanlan prayed for Marguerite, she got out of her wheelchair, took off her oxygen, ran around, and wasn't winded. When she got home, she had the whole family pray over her sick children. Marguerite' felt an evil spirit push her onto the floor,' and the twins were instantly healed from all sickness! Marguerite asked the boys to name anything they would like to eat in the act of faith. "Hot fudge sundae!" was the unanimous response, and the family went out to a nearby restaurant for the boys' first ice cream.

The entire week, the family went to the doctors, who "redid the tests and x-rays about five times" before they finally confirmed the twins were entirely well and their mother had "a new heart." Their doctor became a born-again believer that day, marking the beginning of the twins' powerful ministry. Today, Brian and Shawn are ordained ministers who have devoted their lives to sharing their powerful testimony and God's love through their music and creativity.

 
The Chrisagis Brothers have become staples for their wholesome family entertainment and fun through the years. To check out Brian and Shawn's biography and career highlights, please visit their ministry site, The Chrisagis Brothers Ministries & Productions

Chrisagis Brothers Music CD's

Chrisagis Brothers Support Club

ArtBy Chrisagis

If you are interested in purchasing artwork from Brian & Shawn please message them on their ArtBy Chrisagis Facebook page. Artwork is $50 plus shipping @ $8---each picture is 8 and a half by 11--larger sizes are 11 by 17 for $70 plus shipping. Proceeds help support this wonderful ministry!   

Little House on the Prairie by Shawn

Russ Taff and David Phelps by Brian & Carmen and Michael W. Smith by Shawn

Kathy Troccoli by Brian

A beautiful book about the Chrisagis Brothers Mother, Marguerite "Margie" Chrisagis, and their family called A Legacy of Love--by Debbie Fuller (Author), The Chrisagis Brothers (Contributor) -- Click on the book cover to order on Amazon 

Special tribute song for Brian & Shawn's Mother Marguerite "Margie" Chrisagis called If Heaven Had a Phone

Jesus Everywhere I Go Music Video--Classic MTV video that made the Chrisagis Brothers known

In Loving Memory

Shawn Chrisagis, of the beloved singing duo The Chrisagis Brothers, passed suddenly in June 2023. Shawn was a minister of the gospel, singer, and performer who loved the Lord and people with all his heart. He was anointed, loving, creatively brilliant, and authentic. Shawn will be greatly missed by all those who loved and cared for him and by all the lives he touched while sharing the love of Jesus. Well done, good and faithful servant! —Matthew 25:23

Patrick Fitzpatrick

Plumstead Christian School Head of School in Buck's County, PA

Children's Book Author

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light. (Ephesians 5:8)

Those who come to our door tonight will find an extra treat nestled in among the candies of each bag of treats—a Happy Halloween tract. Sure, most of these tracts will be tossed into the trash, but maybe when you discover what happened to me forty-nine years ago on this night you will understand why my family tries to shine brightly on one of the darkest nights of the year. On Halloween night, 1974, I donned a homemade costume (I think I was a clown) and canvassed my neighborhood in Escondido, CA, in search of candy. I was ten and in fourth grade. I filled my pillowcase to overflowing with lots of treats, and I remember one elderly lady throwing a little booklet into my bag in addition to the candy she gave me. I really didn’t think more about the booklet, but when my mother went through my candy to make sure it was all safe, she discovered the booklet. It was a religious booklet, and she took the time to read it that evening. It piqued her curiosity about God and inspired her to join a Bible study, and my mother discovered through this Bible study that God loved her despite her sin and that He made a way for her to be reconciled to Him through the sacrificial death of His Son, Jesus. She gave her heart and life to God that day, and my father, my siblings, and I noticed immediately my mom’s transformation. One day, soon after her conversion, she sat down with me and explained not only her journey but also how I too could be saved. I wanted this. I believed. My journey of faith has now spanned forty-nine years, and my relationship with God is stronger and more alive today. I now draw my nourishment from the living water, and I am blessed to be called God’s adopted son. God used this one woman’s simple act of obedience to transform four generations of Fitzpatricks! Praise God. So, yes, when the neighborhood children are out collecting their treats, we are committed to presenting them with the best treat of all – the good news of Jesus Christ. Please join in praying for those who are being presented with the gospel on Halloween night.

A Resource to Purchase to Share the Love of Christ on Halloween 

Patrick is the author of two children's books. Please click on the book photos to be directed to where you can purchase them.

Melissa Ohden

Founder & Director of The Abortion Survivors Network, Author & Speaker

"But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." (Acts 20:24)

Abortion is a decision that has a detrimental effect on many across generations. In August of 1977, my biological mother entered St. Luke’s Hospital in Sioux City, Iowa, to undergo a saline infusion abortion. Little did she know that this one decision, and this one moment in time—would have a far-reaching effect on so many peoples’ lives.

A saline infusion abortion involves the injection of a toxic salt solution into the amniotic fluid surrounding the pre-born child in the womb. The salt solution intends to scald the child to die from the outside in. Suppose you ever look up ‘saline infusion for abortion’ or read about children like me who are aborted by saline infusion. In that case, you will find that we are called the “red-skinned” or “candy-apple” babies because it turns the child’s skin red as it burns it, peels it, and moves internally into the body to burn up the organs.

After the toxic salt solution was delivered into the amniotic fluid that surrounded me, I was bathed in the poisonous salt solution for approximately five days. Truly, this solution should have burned me to death while I was in my biological mother’s womb, and she should have given birth to a dead child. Instead, on the fifth day of the abortion procedure, labor was successfully induced, and she gave birth to a live child—me! 

Over the years, I have been told that it was initially known that I had been unsuccessfully aborted. It has been said that after I was delivered spontaneously at the hospital, I was believed to be dead. I was even left for dead and placed along the bedside table. Nevertheless, by the grace of God, a nurse was tending to my mother, noticed that I was making grunting noises and small movements. The doctors and nurses then started to provide the medical care I needed to sustain my fragile life.

Medical documents indicate that my mother thought that she was approximately 18 to 22 weeks pregnant with me when she attempted to abort me. The fact that I survived and that I weighed 2 pounds, 14 ounces, indicates that she was at least six to seven months pregnant. One of the first documentations in my medical records states that I looked like I was “approximately 31 weeks gestation.”  

Despite my miraculous survival, the doctors did not believe that I would live very long, and if I did live—I probably would be disabled. After I survived the failed abortion attempt, I suffered from numerous medical problems, including jaundice, severe respiratory problems, and seizures. I had to undergo multiple blood transfusions. I was too weak to suck from a bottle, so I was fed intravenously through my head for an extended period of time. My future was bleak, but I was alive! Most people would never guess by looking at me today that I suffered what I did as an infant. Today, I am the picture of health. Miraculously, I am healthier than most. I have no long-term physical consequences because of the abortion procedure and my premature birth; I am one of the blessed ones.

After I survived the failed abortion attempt, my biological parents made a courageous and loving decision. I am forever grateful to them for ultimately giving me life despite the initial attempt to end my life. I am even more thankful that they made an adoption plan after I survived. I often hear people say that it is wrong to ask a woman to carry a child to term and make an adoption plan if they feel like they don’t want to or can’t parent them. I understand the well-intentioned place in people’s hearts this comes from. However, I am a living testament to the selfless beauty and love of an adoption plan, and I have seen firsthand how adoption is a choice that EVERYONE can live with. To some—abortion appears to be a solution to the problem. Still, I have seen throughout my life that abortion is not the solution, and it is not a choice that women can live with the rest of their lives without physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual consequences. As hard as it must be to make an adoption plan for a child, it is ultimately a beautiful gift for many—the child, the biological parents, and the adoptive family.

My adoptive parents first met me when I was still in the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit in Iowa City, Iowa, not long after I was born. Despite the poor prognosis that the doctors had for my life, my adoptive parents did not hesitate for a second to come to visit me. My adoptive parents share that the first time they laid eyes on me, lying there in the incubator, they thought I was the most beautiful baby they had ever seen and fell in love with me. That always makes me smile because looking at baby pictures of myself, I know that I wasn’t what most people think is a beautiful baby. I was tiny, my head was shaved, I had IV ports in my head, I was in an incubator most of the time, but my adoptive parents were able to look through all of that and see the inherent beauty of God in me. 

I was blessed to go home to my adoptive family within two short months of surviving the failed abortion attempt. I went home to them before I was probably even supposed to be born! I know that the love of my adoptive parents and the nurses and doctors who cared for me helped me not only survive but also thrive. Over the years, I have remained in contact with one particular nurse who cared for me in Iowa City. Mary shared how she helped name me when I didn’t yet have a name, how she and others knitted me clothing, and how they nurtured me and believed in me during those months that I was in their care.  Growing up, I always seemingly knew that I was adopted. I grew up in a home where adoption was just a normal part of our lives. My older sister is also adopted (from another family), and our parents had always let us know how special and loved we are. After almost fifteen years of trying, our adoptive parents finally had a biological child of their own. Just as I’ve been told that there is no medical reason I have survived the failed saline infusion abortion, our parents had been told throughout those fifteen years that there was no medical reason to be found for why they couldn’t conceive. We know that it was simply God’s plan for them to be available to be our parents.  

Just as I had always known that I was adopted, I also knew I was born prematurely. It never was an issue of concern to me, as I knew many other people who were born prematurely. However, it wasn’t until I was 14 years old that I found out the truth about my life. I wasn’t just born prematurely and adopted, but I had survived a failed abortion attempt that was meant to end my life.

Just as God had His hand on my life while I was in my biological mother’s womb, I believe He planned for me to find out the truth about my survival in the manner in which I did. The Lord may not have intended for my older sister to become pregnant while she was still in high school. Still, He indeed used that experience to help all of us in our family truly understand the preciousness of every human life. My sister’s pregnancy enabled the truth to come out, as our parents felt driven to share with her the story of my survival so that she could fully understand God’s plan for every life, and recognize the beautiful importance of her giving life to her child. I can’t imagine what it was like for her to find out the truth about my life before I did. Still, I am forever grateful that she encouraged me to ask our parents for the truth about it. She is even more thankful that she fully embraced motherhood and is the mother of four amazing children today.  

Sometimes, people ask me if I’m somehow angry with my adoptive parents because they didn’t share the truth about my life sooner or without my sister’s intervention. To answer it honestly, no, I am not angry with them. I can’t imagine what it was like for them all of those years to know the truth and how much it would hurt me if I found out. As a parent, I can understand how they felt the need to protect me. Honestly, there was probably no other way that my adoptive parents would have told me the truth, knowing how much it could devastate me, except through the working hand of God in our lives.

It devastated me the night that my sister encouraged me to seek answers from our parents. I will never forget the look on my mother’s face when I shared the discussion that my sister and I had. It was a look of such anguish. I will also never forget the words that she spoke that changed our lives forever: “We just always thought you knew—There is no easy way to tell you this—we never meant to keep it from you—we love you, and we’ll always love you, Missy.” (That is what my family and close friends call me.) “Your biological mother had an abortion during her fifth month of pregnancy, and you survived it.” 

Looking back on that night, I can’t even put into words how hurt I was. For years, I had felt so special and loved. My biological parents had given me life and made an adoption plan for me; then, suddenly, I found out I had survived a lethal attempt on my life. I was devastated! I had never before even fathomed that my biological parents would have considered aborting me. For the first time in my life, I was angry with them. At 14, I couldn’t comprehend how they could have done that to me, their child. However, as mad as I was that night, my anger quickly washed away into great sadness for them because they somehow felt or were put into the position that abortion was the only option for them. Despite their decision to end my life, I love my biological parents and their families unconditionally. Jesus Christ died for them just as He died for me, and we are all sinners. I am no better or worse than they are in the Lord’s eyes, and it is not my role to judge or condemn them.

People often ask how I felt when I found out that I am an abortion survivor. Truly, I felt every feeling that’s possible to feel. I was angry. I was sad. I was scared of who I was and what this meant for my life. I felt so different and alone. I felt embarrassed and ashamed to be an aborted child. Yet, at the same time, I felt the intense love of God, the understanding that He saved me from certain death and had a plan for my life, and that I was special and wanted by Him and my adoptive family.  

Although, I was blessed with the love and support of God, my adoptive family, my  friends, my church, and school, I struggled on the inside with tumultuous feelings  about who I was and what the world said about children like me. I only had to turn on the TV or radio and open the newspaper (this was before the Internet came along) to see what the predominant culture says about abortion. The prevailing culture says, “It’s just a clump of tissue—it’s just a blob of cells—it’s not a child—it’s a choice—children who are aborted would otherwise be a drain on society—you can get rid of that one; another one will come along again when you’re ready to be a parent.” These statements weighed heavily upon my heart and by the time I went away to college, I had learned through experience to stop talking publicly about being an abortion survivor. The hurt and ridicule were just too much for me to bear at the time.

For many years, I was silenced by shame and guilt. I felt guilty for a long time that I survived when so many have not. Over 53 million children have lost their lives to abortion, and I am one of just a handful of survivors around the world and in the U.S. alone in the past 48 years. However, I knew that God intended for me to learn through my time of silent suffering and teach me how everyone is affected by abortion. Abortion silences many in our world particularly women who have had abortions and men who have played a role in the decision. I know God intended for others to learn by my experience(s) and that we must not be silenced by speaking up and speaking out for those who are rendered voiceless by abortion.

During the first couple of years of silence, I started a journey of faith that has truly transformed me. This journey has enabled me to become the person that the Lord created. I am a woman who God saved to share the gospel of life with the world and shine a light into the darkness of the pain and death caused by abortion. From the moment I learned the truth about my life as a survivor, I knew that the Lord had saved my life to testify to the truth about abortion and His redeeming grace. However, I spent many years living in fear of what He was asking me to do. I could hear Him saying, “Melissa, it’s time. It’s time to come forward and share your story with the world”. Although I knew that I needed to do it and someday would, I spent many years questioning God on how I would be able to fulfill His purpose.   

Through His grace I was able to grow in my understanding of Him and heal from the pain that I suffered emotionally and spiritually. By His grace, He has blessed me with the ability to understand others’ pain and help them find healing. After ten years of trying to find my biological parents and obtain my medical records (the two things I knew I needed to do before coming forward with my testimony), I finally succeeded. I have become stronger and bolder than ever, and I was able to find my voice after so many years of silence. 

It was certainly bittersweet to obtain my medical records. Although it was affirming to see it written in my records that a “saline infusion for an abortion was done but was unsuccessful,” it was very difficult to read about how my life was supposed to end and how I had to fight to live. Through my birth records, I quickly learned who my biological parents were. Within minutes, I discovered that not only was my biological father alive and well, but we were living in the same city as one another! How great is our God! Even though I knew that Sioux City, Iowa, is where the abortion took place, I could never have fathomed that my biological father would be living there decades later. I had not grown up in Sioux City; I had moved there during my search process to finish my Master’s degree.  

After months of praying, I decided to reach out to my biological father. Secretly in my heart, I always hoped that he didn’t play a role in the decision to end my life. In 2007, I sent him a letter to his workplace. In the letter, I told him that I knew the truth about the abortion, I had forgiven him a long time ago, I had led a beautifully blessed life, and we were living in the same city as one another. I also shared with him that if he ever wanted to communicate with me or have a relationship, I would be waiting to hear from him. And wait, I did!

Once again, in my life, I struggled with the pain of feeling rejected and alone when I didn’t hear back from him. God’s grace truly is enough, and His love runs more profound and broader than we could ever imagine, but sometimes things happen in this world that eats away at our self-esteem and self-worth. I am a living testament that nothing but the Lord can overcome that pain and transform it into something beautiful. I quickly turned over my hurt and pain to God, and about a month after I reached out to my biological father, I contacted my biological mother’s parents. Even though I knew who my birth mother was, I could not determine her maiden name or where she lived. However, I was desperate to reach out to her, so I contacted her parents in the hopes that they would share my message of forgiveness with her. Since I had never heard back from my birth father and had met my share of rejection in the world, I never expected to get a response from the letter that I sent to my maternal grandparents. But within just a few short days, I received a letter from my maternal grandfather! 

It was a great blessing to receive this letter. I am still thankful that my grandfather was kind enough to respond to it and that he was willing to share so much with me in it. Through the letter, I learned many things about my biological mother’s side of the family and the circumstances leading to my mother’s pregnancy with me. I learned that my mother dated my father throughout her teen years and that they were together for four years before becoming pregnant with me. After the abortion took place, my birth mother went on to marry someone else and had other children. Sadly, I learned that she never told anyone about me, or probably about the abortion. I certainly understand why she kept this a secret. By and large, we live in a society that doesn’t want to talk about abortion. I meet women and men every day who carry the secret of abortion and the pain, shame, and regret of it throughout their lives. It breaks my heart that my biological parents and so many like them suffer the silent pain of abortion for a lifetime and never find healing or forgiveness.

During that same period of time that I was reaching out to my birth family, I finally came forward publicly with my testimony as a survivor. The first time that I spoke was on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C., with ‘Feminists for Life of America’. It was an empowering experience for me. All of those years that I had suffered silently, felt ashamed, embarrassed, and guilty were redeemed. I know that I have nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. I am proud to be a survivor and chosen by God to do His work on this earth. Although that first speaking experience was exhilarating, it was also nerve-wracking for me. For some reason, I didn’t feel like myself and chalked it up to bad nerves. HOWEVER, what I was experiencing was a bad case of morning sickness! I was just a few days pregnant with our daughter, Olivia, the very first time that I spoke out about my survival and spoke out against abortion. 

It makes me smile every time I reflect on my first time speaking because I know that it was another excellent example of the Lord moving in our lives. For years, I desperately wanted to be a mother. The Lord blessed my husband and me with a child when I became fully obedient to Him in answering His call for my life—it was at this time that it became so clear that I was doing exactly what He intended for me to do. The Lord continues to bless Ryan and me abundantly in our lives, and I genuinely believe that our faith and obedience to the Lord continues to bring us favor.  

I delved into pro-life advocacy and speaking during my pregnancy with Olivia. I started to speak mainly on college campuses across the U.S. and Canada, sharing my testimony and encouraging campuses to take a closer look at their environment to see if they were friendly to men and women who are pregnant or parenting. And although my pregnancy with Olivia filled me with the greatest joy imaginable, some days were difficult for me because I was made infinitely aware that my own biological mother had experienced those same changes in her body during her pregnancy with me. She still made the decision to abort me.  

Throughout the past couple of years, I had learned that my birth mother really didn’t have a choice when it came to the decision to abort me. Research indicates that over 60% of women report being coerced into having an abortion. My biological mother fits these statistics. From what I’ve learned in recent years, it was likely one of her parents—my own grandparents who decided for her. It deeply saddens me that we live in a world where abortion is seen as the solution to the problems women face and that so many people call abortion a “choice,” even when both the statistics and experiences of many women reflect that most of them don’t have a choice when it comes to abortion.  

Unbeknownst to me, my biological father passed away suddenly early in 2008. I wasn’t even aware of his passing for a couple of months. I just happened to come across my father’s obituary online one night when I “Googled” his name on the Internet. I was devastated to discover that he had passed away. Despite my deep faith in the Lord, I questioned Him a lot that night. How could He let this happen? I had been looking for him all of those years, and then after I found him, he was quickly taken from me. I couldn’t understand, but I promptly was given peace about it as I heard the Lord reminding me that He is the creator of all things, and He had a plan—a plan greater than I ever could imagine.  

In the culmination of these events, I gave birth to Olivia. On April 26, 2008, she was born at St. Luke’s Hospital in Sioux City, Iowa—the very same hospital where my life was supposed to end 41 years ago. God is so good! Through His grace, the hospital that held such terrible memories for me now holds the most beautiful memories of our lives.  

A couple of weeks after Olivia was born, I first heard from my biological father’s family. Little did I know that when they cleaned out his office after he passed away, they found the letter that I had sent him tucked away in his top desk drawer. I had not heard from him all of those months; I wondered if he received the letter and if he did if he believed that I was his daughter. His family believes that because he had read and kept the letter, he knew he was my father and that someday he would do something about it.  

As devastating as it was to lose my father so suddenly and then to find out the secret he had kept all of those years, his family ultimately reached out to me around the time Olivia was born. I was blessed to meet my great aunt, grandfather, and cousin. I even had the opportunity to speak to my grandmother on the phone and to my father’s wife through email. Since then, I have continued building a solid relationship with my great aunt and grandfather. Both have met my adoptive family, and we get together as often as our schedules allow.

Sadly, these are the only two solid relationships that I have with my biological father’s family despite living in the same community as a number of them. I understand the depth of the other family members’ grief, the complexity of our lives considering the circumstances, and the shame and pain that the abortion should have ended my life caused them. It saddens me that so many families, like mine, are forever changed by abortion. Relationships become strained, secrets are hidden, and the pain and shame last for decades. I see these circumstances in families around the world through my work. I understand how our culture of death silences people who are hurting from abortion, but it’s time we break the silence and heal. I refuse to be silenced by abortion anymore, and I encourage others to step forward and break free from the chains that bind them.

I am often asked if I wish the circumstances of my life were different. Of course, I wish that my life and well-being wouldn’t have been threatened by abortion; however, I’m deeply grateful for the journey I have walked through. I am a survivor! I have experienced more than my fair share of pain and struggles, but I have become a wiser, more compassionate, and more obedient woman. I was fearful of what would happen if I stepped out of the shadows to be a light in this world for years. I desire to reveal the truth of the Lord, and the devastation of abortion can no longer silence me. I know that I don’t need to be ashamed of who I am. I am not a burden—I am a blessing. I am not simply a child who was aborted, but a woman who was fearfully and wonderfully made. 

No matter who my birth family is and how they may have felt about me early on in my life, I will always know who my Heavenly Father is and that He has great plans for me. 

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord…” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Melissa is the Founder & Director of The Abortion Survivors Network

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More About Melissa

Melissa is a frequent contributor to pro-life and conservative news outlets and a regular guest on radio and television programs around the world including Fox News, Focus on the Family, Hannity, The Eric Metaxas Show, Huckabee, and more. Although Melissa’s heart is for providing help and hope to all affected by abortion, she also strives to humanize the unborn through activism. She has testified before Congressional committees numerous times, as well as lobbied, and even met President Trump in the Oval Office in 2019. Fulfilling the purpose that she believes God set out for her when He saved her from the certain death of the abortion attempt, Melissa is truly a voice for the voiceless.